The Tragic Loss of Eve’s Greatest Treasure

Posted: April 29, 2013 in Eve Online
Tags: , , , ,

That is right folks, today was a truly sad day in the Eve universe. I, Kasken, CEO of Vitriolic Animosity, lost, my three day old Navy Comet. This will come as a great shock to many, whom I know have never even hard of my Comet, but will still mourn it’s tragic loss. A series of unfortunate events listed below will explain how such a atrocious act could end up happening.

It started off a great Eve day, I logged in, saw an Incursus in a plex in my home system, and figured, let’s give the Algos a go. I show up at the gate, and to my complete dismay, the Incursus warped out. So I hang out there chatting in corp, when a new neutral shows up in local. I keep scanning and a Talwer appears on short scan. I make a split second decision, I figure he will land at zero on the acceleration gate, I’m here, let’s probably lag and DIAF.

He lands at zero, I overheat everything and burn at him firing like a retarded monkey in a fair with waterguns. Don’t think about the analogy, just go with it. He hits me, I hit him, luckily a 422 DPS buffered Algos was enough and he went pop before I dipped into structure. Solo Kill.

Then 2sexy4myshp and our Griffon pilot who’s name in corp I cant entirely remember, Granon or something similar go out looking for people to pew pew. I am in the fabled Comet at this point in time named “Asteroid”. I know, it’s extremely original. We shoot around for a bit, and find a Thrasher in a plex. I land, use acceleration gate and charge into the abyss. The Thrasher warps out…

2sexy lands on the acceleration gate, and calls out an Ishkur is there which he promptly engages. Except I can’t just warp to him, I have to warp to a celestial and back. Our Griffin pilot, manages to warp… by accidentally not to the plex. This leaves a buffered Hookbill vs a decently tanked ship. 2sexy mentions calmly, “I’m getting my arse kicked”, or something to that effect. Being a natural leader I offer my sage advice, “Don’t die, shoot his drones.” Epic response comes, “I’m a noob, don’t have drone overview setup.”

I land get point and web. 2sexy flies off in his pod. Handoff of the fight completed. Our Griffin arrives on the scene, with the wonderful, “all my jams failed, wow his drones hurt, half armor warping out.” I am alone with an Ishkur who is using five Fed Navy drones.

I begin my incredible, and completely amazing Eve piloting skills, by orbiting the Ishkur at 500 and webbing / popping drones. It’s a race, can I smoke his drones before I die. As each drone dies, the DPS on me is lessened. My rep is overheated and repping like a champ, a 85 year old champ who recently had a heart attack. As the last drone, I managed to kill four, approaches the end of his armor, I discovered the end of my structure.

The greatest Comet ever flown by Kasken, and the only Comet flown by Kasken, met an abrupt, painful end, to an Ishkur. As I explode into shiny bits and frantically spam warp on my pod I hear, “Ishkur jammed.”

Fly Dangerously my Friends

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Comments
  1. Khendon Kalmire says:

    I do so love reading about how you die in fire kasken. I miss reading about it in corp chat tho. I blame your griffen pilot for warping to the wrong place likeaboss

  2. 2sexy4myship says:

    Was a sad day 😦

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